Wow, that Jim Zorn west coast offense sure was explosive last night. And by explosive, I mean it may cause Washington's entire season to blow up in its face. 209 total yards, 133 passing (a good portion of which coming in garbage time) for a staggering total of seven points. Impressive, indeed.

But the problem likely isn't that The Zorn Star's offense doesn't work -- the west coast offense has been successful once or twice in this league. The problem is that Jason Campbell just doesn't get the system yet. At all.

The offense is predicated off the QB taking a quick drop and making a quicker decision. Nearly every time Campbell dropped back into the pocket, it looked like he'd entered some unfamiliar, foreign territory, as opposed to the place he's called home for over a decade. He didn't know what to do, or where to throw. He played the game like I play Madden: Decide before the play which receiver I'm going to throw to, and if it's not there, take the sack. (I can never remember which button to press to throw it away. Neither could Campbell.) In his defense -- and, I know, this has been repeated ad nauseum, but it's still valid -- this is his fourth different system in as many seasons in the NFL. It's my understanding that NFL offensive systems are quite complicated, so this surely adds to Campbell's confusion.

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I’ll stop short of saying that Novak Djokovic fakes injuries on the court, but let’s just say that he is fairly notorious for being quick to call out the trainer. He does it all the time; the players and fans are all well aware of the tactic. So, on Tuesday, when asked about Novak’s “injuries” Andy Roddick decided to mock Novak by having the following exchange with a reporter:

A reporter was explaining that the Serbian player had complained of an injured right ankle when Roddick cut him off, sparking this charming exchange:

Roddick: Isn't it both of them? And a back and a hip?

Reporter: And when he said there are too many to count …

Roddick: And a cramp.

Reporter: Do you get a sense right now that he is …

Roddick: Bird flu.

Reporter: A lot of things. Beijing hangover.

Roddick: Yeah.

Reporter: He's got a pretty long list of illness.

Roddick: Anthrax. SARS. Common cough and cold.

Apparently, Novak didn’t appreciate Roddick’s sense of humor, because after beating Andy in four sets last night, he went into this pathetic, “he doesn’t play nice” rant on center court:
Wise decision that was, Novak, to get that outta your system in front of 20,000+ Roddick fans, not to mention the television audience. Alienating Americans is gonna do wonders for you career.

Today's Calls: Tom Brady vs. Brett Favre, Vandy vs. Spurrier, Carlos Zambrano vs. Jesse Litsch, Hakeem Olajuwon vs. Michael Jordan, Daunte Culpepper vs. History and More.

The Opening Pitch: If the Giants dropped last season's opener and went on to win the Super Bowl, what does it portend that the Giants won their season opener in 2008?

Actually, I'm ready to look past last night's game and dive right into Sunday's “official” 2008 Kickoff For The Rest Of Us:

(1) Like a huge middle finger to the world, Bill Belichick did NOT put Tom Brady on the injury report, for the first time since 2005. ...

(2) Yes, yes, I know: Brett Favre. ...

(3) Rookie Watch: Ravens QB Joe Flacco will have a better debut than Falcons QB Matt Ryan. ...

(4) Just remember: It's “Chad Ocho Cinco.” ...

(5) If your team loses, don't forget the Giants lost its '07 opener. ...

NFL Picks: DET, BUF, JAX, MIA, NE, NO, PHI, PIT, CIN, SD, ARI, DAL, IND, MIN, DEN; (Season: 1-0).

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Welcome to our incredibly innovative feature, The Enumerative. Because lists are awesome, plus effective time killers, in this space we'll provide a top five based loosely on something that has recently occurred in the sporting world. It's compiled by Chris Mottram and Spencer Hall, unless otherwise noted.



Between the kick-off of the college football season last week and tonight’s NFL opener, we are getting into prime tailgating territory. Because the most vital part of any good tailgate is the beverages (food only wastes valuable booze-space), we’re here to assist you with all your intoxication needs by presenting our list of the top five tailgating drinks. This list is, of course, highly disputable based on taste, tolerance, region, sex, etc., so please feel free to leave your favorites in the comments section ... or just make fun of ours.

American-style light lager of your choosing. Our preference: Miller High Life. Tailgates often take place in hellish conditions in the Southeast, thus requiring a beer that can stand up to the fierce conditions of an all-day, 92 degree Baton Rouge tailgate. Thus the call for the champagne of beers. It can also double as water in an emergency, which easy on the wallet, because it’s cheaper than bottled H20.

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I've been through a lot of big rushes, brah, I went to Burning Man. It rocked. I ran with the bulls in Pamplona. Rock rock. I skydived. Triple rock with Red Bull and Jager naked, brah. But I'm BASE jumping right now. Yes! RIGHT NOW. Getting the whole thing on camera, brah, live in and in color. I've got this wing suit on and it's making this XXXTREEEEME. I have to tell you that this is the most awesome thing I've ever done. It rules, man. You should totally AAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH.

Disclaimer: The Sporting Blog in no way finds his injury humorous, or side-splittingly funny, or uproarious. We make no judgment on his decision to jump off the side of a rock with no backup parachute, and would never call it harebrained, ill-advised, or evidence of a massive and shortsighted deathwish. Nope. Not us.

(H/T: Gizmodo)

No sooner do I start carping about the current NBA "dead zone" than the dark horse of off-season action, the intrigue I've been tittering about behind-the-scenes for months, stirs a little. I'm talking, of course, about the Pacers' negotiations with forward Danny Granger, which according to The Indianapolis Star, aren't going anywhere anytime soon.

Drafted in 2005, the New Mexico product is a restricted free agent next summer; the team now has a few months to lock him up long-term, without getting into the free agent drama that's defined this summer. With Jermaine O'Neal gone, Granger is hands-down Indiana's best player. He's got some Shawn Marion-like versatility going, but with a more fluid game, more natural scoring ability, and the kind of quiet confidence that you just could build a team around. Some will stand behind the resurrected Mike Dunleavy as the team's future—of course they would—but Dunleavy's a thrice warmed-over bust-done-good, while Granger can flat-out play.

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