Welcome to "Wild Speculation." Over the days leading up to the MLB trade deadline, SN's David Arnott will use this space to speculate over possible deals. And do so wildly.

The trade deadline has passed, and while the paperwork is still being sorted out, let's examine the deals confirmed to have gone down, starting with today's trades and working backwards.

MANNY RAMIREZ for JASON BAY for 4 PROSPECTS
The Dodgers have apparently landed Manny Ramirez and $7 million in exchange for Andy LaRoche and Bryan Morris. LaRoche was to be the Dodgers's third baseman of the future, but it seems Ned Colletti and Co. have decided to give him up to rent Manny for the rest of the season. In this deal, Bay goes to the Red Sox for Craig Hansen, Brandon Moss, and the cash. As described below, Bay is a decided upgrade on Manny (2008 version, remember). The Pirates, for their part, get all four prospects. Moss might never be a starting outfielder in the bigs, Hansen is a middle relief prospect, Morris is a long way away from the majors, and LaRoche is the one excellent ready-to-start prospect they picked up today.

In the end, it makes total sense for the Pirates, who are planning for next year and beyond, and the Sox, who make, at worst, a lateral move today, and take a huge leap forward for the future. But the Dodgers are now in the weird position of having three outfielders who deserve to play and two who will feel entitled to play but who suck. We can talk about how Manny can't field at all, but Andruw Jones has had a historically bad year at the plate, and Juan Pierre has never been a good hitter. If L.A. takes the field with any outfield lineup other than Manny, Matt Kemp, and Andre Ethier, then we know that they're not really interested in putting their best team on the field. If they do that, they've upgraded. They didn't give up anyone they were starting now, and they improved an outfield spot.

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Beijing Does Some Tidying You know when you’re having guests over for a dinner party and your place is really disheveled and you really don’t have the energy to give it a proper cleaning so you just sort push all the crap into one room and under beds and sofas and whatnot? Well, according to this article in the NY Times, the powers that be in Beijing are taking a similar approach to their city for the Olympics. Entire walls have been built around homes and restaurants and little mom-and-pop markets deemed to be eyesores by the Olympic authorities, a policy announced earlier in the year with Orwellian notices like this one: “In keeping with the government’s request to rectify the Olympic environment, a wall will need to be built around No. 93 South Tianqiao Road.”

Rectify the Olympic environment – sheesh that is some absolute gold right there on the totalitarian doublespeak front. “We all support the Olympics,” said one Beijing native in response. “But why are you building a wall around us?” Such a silly question. It’s because you’re poor, stupid.

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A year from now, Rockets general manager Daryl Morey might be hailed as a genius, a risk-taker, a man who wasn't afraid to make a bold move when circumstance demanded it. Let's hope that, by then, The Chronicle has expunged the following passage:

Morey will make this trade knowing the risks, knowing it could blow up in his face. Yet he decided that doing something was better than doing nothing. Swing for the fences, baby.

Artest wasn't his first choice. Morey flew to Southern California hoping for a face-to-face meeting with Corey Maggette. He inquired about Mike Miller, Josh Childress, Mickael Pietrus, Carlos Delfino and Ramonas Siskauskas.

So he swung for the fences because he had no other choices? That's still noble, I guess, but hardly smacks of decisive action and all the visionary brilliance that bringing Artest on board seems to imply. Also, that other list of names is hardly a rundown of Artest-caliber players, or even guys who bring similar things to the table. Maggette is an athletic scorer. Miller's a shooter. Childress could've bolstered the Rockets in a meaningful way, but he overlaps even more with Shane Battier, and hardly brings that same toughness that's got media falling over themselves to praise the trade.

Then you've got Pietrus, like Artest before he found his calling, but with more athleticism and less fire; Delfino, inconsistent without any good excuse, and someone I've never heard of. Morey may see now what a perfect fit Ron Ron is, but this passage sure makes it seem like he figured this out only because he had to.

For those wondering if the ceremonies will be overly China-fied and bear no resemblance to prior games ... never fear. Even in Asia, the Opening Ceremonies will have the usual Euro-MTV feel: long, loaded with booming, inspirational synth music, and lots of Whiskey Tango Foxtrot moments that go on for 15 minutes too long and feature lots of teenagers running around in body suits under spotlights. All I have to say are six magic words: men in body paint and speedos. Awwww yeaaaaaahhhh.

The only particularly Chinese wrinkle we can see is that all of the body paint contains unsafe amounts of lead, which should give the whole thing a particularly PRC feel.

This is all a sideshow, though, compared to the real issues in these Games. As usual, the only media outlet reporting these real issues is The Onion:

They're gonna wait until it gets dark and they're going to bring out their dragons. You think they're kidding, don't you? DON'T YOU?

The only thing I can tell you about this photo is that it is, indeed, Ex-Bear (and Charger, Eagle, Viking, Packer, Cardinal and Brown) Jim McMahon and it was taken by a friend of TSB last week at Mohegan Sun Casino in Connecticut. I have no idea who the lucky ladies are, although he does have two daughters, so perhaps he took the family on a luxurious vacation to tropical Uncasville, CT.

Or, perhaps his family has no idea why he was in the Mohegan Sun Casino, riding around on an old man scooter and drinking with 20-somethings when he said he was just going down the street for a carton of milk and a loaf of bread.

Either way, it’s some pretty hilarious imagery: